I’m forever feeling guilty about not having enough one on one time with each of my kids. I noticed that the older they get, the more they seem to get pushed to the side. It’s not that I push them. However, the younger ones need more attention, milk- food, and trips to the toilet etc. The ones that are a little older to behave seem to get ignored unintentionally. It’s so important to keep tabs on kids and ask them how their day was, if they enjoyed themselves. Also, of course try to spend as much time with each child one on one as possible. It’s near on impossible with a larger family to be able to sit alone with any one of your kids, unless they have some special naptime- or bedtime that is stalled. What can you do though to try and make sure that all of your kids are getting enough quality time? I’m going to share my tips.
Make Point Of Bonding With Your Elder Kids
My eldest is 13, teenagers are always hard to deal with, You will never be able to do anything quite right in their eyes. In fact, there will always be something wrong you did or did not do. Try to remember back to your teenage years and how your parents seemed to you back in the day. Not so cool right? Well to make sure that you can engage with your teen and keep a bond in this turbulent time ask him or her to help you out around the home.
Involve kids In Your Household Work- To Spend Time With Them
As you wash the clothes, iron, fold the laundry etc- it is a great way to bond with elder kids. Also, ask them if they have any friends that they would like to hang out with/ invite over. It is very important that elder kids feel loved and attended to. I know mine feel a little way laid at times, and right now at home the eldest 2 aged 13 and 12 seem to be at logger heads with one another. They have developed a hate relation ship! I think that is normal however, as I seem to recall sibling rivalry in my house growing up as a kid too. They are constantly fighting and that makes me wonder if they are not just doing this to grab more attention from mum? Who knows. Those of you that had siblings growing up will recall the fighting and arguing about just about anything at least once a week, if not daily! In my house it seems to happen daily with all the kids, bar the baby. I sometimes feel like a referee in the middle of all the fighting and breaking up.
Don’t Spend Your Time Dishing Out Attention To The Naughty Kids!
I cannot help but wonder if the kids feel that they get more attention from me when they are naughty, than when they are actually behaving themselves. As parents we seem to spend so much time fixated on the naughty kids, than we do the quiet well behaved ones. It is hard to balance. Sometimes kids are simply looking for some extra love. They can quiet easily be naughty just in order to grab your attention. I was just thinking about this the other day. My eldest brings in good grades at school, does everything we tell her to- and yet- she seems to not get all the attention! Hardly enough praise for what she does do. In fact, all the praise goes to my son, he gets attention for being naughty, attention for not getting the grades he should- and attention to help boost him and make him be who we want him to be!
Stop Making Mistakes! And Don’t Feel Bad If You Know You Have
As the sub header clearly states. Mistakes are easy to make when parenting, but do not ever offer too much praise to any one of your kids. Particularly the one (or ones) that are naughty. Try your best to be equal, and of course do things to show the that you care. Take time to have a chat with
Get Them In The Kitchen
Now I have to admit, this sends me crazy! all the mess, the hype and well out kitchen is not the best size to squeeze kids into. But, I try my best to cake a cake with each one of the kids at least once a month. I will randomly call them in to help and they love it! We make cakes, I ask someone to cut the veg, help hand me the ingredients, stir the pan, etc.- etc. Kids are kids. they need their mum and dad and well- whatever you can do to spend more one on one time with them do it. Because one day, they will grow up and leave the nest. Being a parent is not easy. No one will ever be perfect, but we learn as we go along.